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Top 10 Ugliest Hockey Players Of The Past 20 Years

Well, it's Tuesday again, and that means another edition of Hockey Hermit's Tuesday Top Tens. I'm feeling a bit off the wall today, so I figured rather than coming up with a vanilla list like top 10 NHL defensemen, I'd try something a bit more colorful. A list of the top 10 ugliest hockey players of the past 20 years fits the bill I think. Initially I considered a list of the top 10 ugliest hockey players of all time, but I am not familiar enough with the facial features of all players from the 20s to the 70s to pretend to be an authority on the subject, and even if I could create a definitive list, coming up with pictures would have been a challenge. By narrowing down the field to players that competed in the past 2 decades I feel relatively qualified to weigh in on the subject, and the contemporary flavor will be more familiar to my readers as well. Feel free to voice your opinion on my choices in comments. Beauty (or ugliness) is subjective, so let me know if I have made any glaring omissions. Here are my choices for the top 10 ugliest NHL players from the past 20 years:

10 - Steve Rucchin - If an alien mated with a fish, the resulting baby would look like Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi...or Steve Rucchin. The guy looks like he just downed about 20 shots of expresso. A great two way hockey player, but definitely a mug only a mother could love.

9 - Shawn Horcoff - With ears that are trying to run away from his face, a lazy eye, a bent beak, and missing chicklets, Shawn Horcoff is the complete package and is the very definition of the phrase "ugly hockey player". Hard to believe 8 others finished ahead of him on this list.

8 - Bobby Holik - Unfrozen Caveman Hockey Player might come in a lot higher on other people's list, but other than his continental-shelf-like unibrow this guy really isn't that ugly. Still, though he doesn't merit a high spot on this top 10 list cracking number 8 just based on upper head features is pretty darn impressive.

7 - Lyle Odelein - This guy always had a dopey expression on his face like he had just came out of dental surgery after undergoing an experimental procedure to see how many teeth they could cram in the human mouth. He wouldn't be grinning like that if he looked in a mirror.

6 - Ken Danyeko - Ken Daneyko could have used some of Lyle Odelein's teeth. This blue collar warrior lost a full dozen chicklets during his NHL playing days, and he wasn't all that good looking with a full set of chompers. You know you're ugly when even your bobblehead is better looking than you.

5 - Rod Brind'Amour - This guy will no doubt be on everyone's list of the top 10 ugliest NHL players of the past 20 years. Known as "Rod the Bod" for his chiseled physique, Brind'Amour's good looks don't extend from the neck up. With bug eyes, and a nose that wouldn't look out of place on a horse, Brind'Amour's ugly mug earns him a deserving spot in the top half of this list.

4 - Gino Odjick - Has there ever been a more mismatched pair of linemates in NHL history than Pavel Bure and Gino Odjick? Bure's speed, talent, and boyish good looks were a sharp contrast to Odjick's plodding, cement-handed, ugliness. Odjick was supposed to be a goon, but he wasn't even a very good fighter. How this guy stuck around in the NHL as long as he did is a mystery to me, but no one can deny his popularity with the fans, and they certainly can't deny he is one of the ugliest men to pick up a hockey stick in the past 20 years.

3 - Brent Sopel - For the love of God, somebody buy this guy a bottle of shampoo! When I hear the word greasy Brent Sopel is the first thing that comes to mind, narrowly edging out a 20 piece bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. With his stringy locks and his permanently stoned expression Sopel got serious consideration for top spot on this list.

2 - Tim Hunter - The most famous nose in hockey is enough to get Tim Hunter to number 2 on the list of the top 10 ugliest hockey players of the past 20 years. Even disregarding the nose Hunter would never have pocketed $10 for taking second prize in a beauty contest. Amazingly, Hunter claims that he never actually broke the nose. That thing is all natural baby!

1 - Mike Ricci - Was there any doubt? Shawn Horcoff might have been the complete package as an ugly hockey player, but Ricci takes it to the next level. The long greasy-looking hair, the huge lumpy nose, the scraggly stubble, and the missing teeth all combined to make Ricci the ugliest man to lace up the skates in the past 20 years, and though I certainly can't claim to have seen every player since the dawn of the NHL I have a hard time believing any player in the history of the sport can trump this guy as the all time ugliest in hockey.

Honorable Mention - Darius Kasparitis, Anze Kopitar, Derian Hatcher, Darren McCarty, Olli Jokinen, Evgeni Malkin

Like this post? Also check out:

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27 Comments

  1. No HM for Ovechkin? He’s a pretty gross looking dude too. Ricci just looks like a crackhead

  2. No no no, Gino Odjick was not one of the ugliest ones. His goofy smile without a doubt made him a fan favourite in Vancouver.

  3. Tim Hunter would actually draw gasps from people when clad in the helmet during his playing days. The helmet framed and accentuated that remarkably grotesque mug. He truly looked scary. You swore that the guy was not quite human, that he was one of the Myrmidons or a member of some weird, forbidding half-animal race. He reminded me of the old actor Rondo Hatten, from the ’40’s, who played “The Creeper”. Rondo and several other actors had a congenital condition known as acromegaly; I guess Tim’s looks are a result of genetics and hockey batterings. He would probably be offered plenty of movie roles should he ever decide to get out of hockey.

  4. Where’s Zdeno Chara? And why Rob Brind’Amour is there?

  5. no jaroslav spacek?

  6. Where’s Ian Laperrière? He sure deserves a spot on this list!

  7. Nice top 10! However, how can you forget Ian Laperriere and Pascal Dupuis, at least in the honorable mentions!

  8. And how about Tiger Williams???

  9. Bobby Clarke ‘smiling’ is missing on this list for sure.

    Who wrote these descriptions ? He is ?&$%?/ hilarious !!

  10. Im a little disappointed not to find Ryan Smyth, Pavel Datsyuk and Kjell Samuelsson on that list!

  11. The list is ok, but Gino Odjick “wasn’t even a very good fighter…” ? Has the author ever seen any of his fights?

  12. Jody Shelley is the ugliest player of all times

  13. what about Adam Foote?

  14. How about Craig Berube? – Barry Trotz – the Nashville coach, has also scarred a lot of children

  15. Ok, where is Oleg Kvasha? The guy was once viewed blowing snot rockets on the bench when the camera was on him during a telecast. He should at least be in the honorable mentions.

  16. Scott Hartnell?

  17. You just cant include Darren McCarty, I loved him right from his Belleville Bulls OHL days til the day he retired from Detroit ooxx

  18. Um… Ulf Samuelson??? For Sure Lyle Odelein.” Ricci was UG, but somehow was also found on the “sexiest” list too by local surveys by women. And don’t forget Vlady!!! Kostantinov looked and played like Death On Skates! Scary!!!

  19. Where’s Brad Marchand?

  20. Um, it’s “espresso” not “expresso”. They may be ugly but you’re not gonna win any Spelling Bees anytime soon. :\

  21. Pascale Leclaire. ‘Nuff said.

  22. You forgot half the Pittsburgh Penguins. Kunitz, Kennedy, Malkin, and dupuis just too name a few

  23. Best line ever about Tim Hunter…

    “You’re the only guy I know who can smoke a cigar in the shower” – Tie Domi

  24. Even with the “long greasy-looking hair, the huge lumpy nose, the scraggly stubble, and the missing teeth” I love Mike Ricci!

  25. Kopitar for sure, his eyes are so weird and he’s all discolored and shit. Seems like he also chooses the absolute worst hair styles to suit him as well. And for some reason I can’t stand Taylor Hall’s face. His big ass mouth makes him look a bit special.

  26. Steve Wanvig,GREAT JOB referencing 1920’s-1940’s-era horror film star Rondo Hatten in
    discussing Tim Hunter’s frightful ugliness,as “The Creeper”-Hatten’s most famous role-is my buddy Jamie Logsdon’s favourite monster character,topping even Bela Lugosi.
    Still,as butt-ugly as Timmy is,he’d still have to go some to match the acromegalic distortion of Hatten’s features.(Hatten,ironically,was a VERY handsome lad,but was struck by acromegaly,a pituitary gland disease in which too much growth hormone is secreted into the system,causing abnormal height,then grossly swollen physiogamy.

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